Is Excitement a good reframe for Anxiety?
Excitement might be better than anxiety but its not how I wana feel...unless it's for icescreammmmm!
There's a common practice to reframe anxiety as excitement. For some people - in certain contexts - it's a GREAT TOOL.
As a Somatic practitioner, however, it's not what I do or teach.
Anxiety and Excitement are highly sympathetic states - Elevated heart rate, blood in the muscles, BUTTERFLIES in the stomach, SPEEDY, wriggly and sweaty. (they share about 80% of the same neurology)
There's evidence reframing SLOWS the breath and dilates the blood vessels to reduce blood pressure, which is great, but I want to REPLACE ANXIETY with something even more FUNCTIONAL.
Excitement and Anxiety are INTENSE. They're glucose DEMANDING. They're EXHAUSTING. And if I lived my life in an anxious OR excited state I'd be a NERVOUS WREAK!
I want is to replace anxiety with awareness, GROUNDING, calm, CONNECTION, love, CONFIDENCE, pleasure and whole being EMBODIMENT.
Excitement gives me none of that - it's just a gaggle of MUNCHKINS running round my head throwing water balloons at each other. yayyyahhh
*FUN but not always so FUN-CTIONAL*
Sometimes clients come to sessions with anxiety at POSITIVE times in their lives - a fab new relationship - the job of their dreams...
And people say "YOU SHOULD BE EXCITED!"
But for nervous systems quick to get anxious, excitement isn't a useful reframe. They're just too similar and feelings BLEED.
A classic example of this bleed happened at birthday parties I attended a decade ago.
20 SCREAMING children
20 CACKLING parents
Gathered around a 5 year old princess-shrek
Blasting music
300 SCREAMING children in the background (at a play space)
Cake and lollies
FIZZY POP and cheezles
And sooo many PRESENTS!
"They're so excited!" parents would say
Then everyone would ERUPT into an alrighty roar to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
The child's face literally about to fly off their SKULL
They were SOOOOOOO excited!!!!!
And bam they'd explode into a SEA OF SOBBING - all that excitement had turned to meltdown.
And parents are like "But CHERUB this is your birthday, and all your friends are here, you've got soooo many presents, I thought you'd be HAPPY!"
They were happy. AND completely FREAKING OUT.
So I don't teach or even advocate this idea. (I also trust lots of others are teaching it)
Instead I ask people what they WANT to feel and we build skill/capacity for that.
We allow anxiety to be TEMPERED by an embodiment of our choosing.
- Oh there's anxiety...
And there are my feet on the GROUND! Hey feet, good to feel you!!
- Oh there's excitement...
And there's my gorgerous colleague - "Oh my god it's so GOOD to see you. How are you?!"
Excitement is a FUN emotion but it might be better reserved for icecream, seeing friends, and dancing to wicked songs.
WHOOP WHOOOP
Reframing anxiety is one TOOL IN THE TOOLBOX but if excitement is making you anxious, permission to let it slide.
And get excited for the FUN things in life!
Like the up coming *ICECREAM SEASON* hitting the Southern hemisphere right now!
Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@thissillygirlskitchen...">Dana DeVolk</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/.../white-ice-cream-on-brown-cone-5...">Unsplash</a>